Coming to a Close

This week has been a whirlwind of emotions for me and everyone on this trip. I’ve laughed and cried harder than ever. Strangers touched my heart more than ever. Not only was my heart touched, but I was able to grow as a person. My hardest moment was when I realized that sometimes we don’t know what happens when our patients leave, and sometimes we cannot solve the problems we’ve had. This was really hard for me to process.

Juan is a patient that will always hold a special place in my heart due to the fact that he was the one who forced me to realize this. I had spent most of the day talking with him while I played with his granddaughter. Despite the language barrier he had a genuine interest in my life back home. Later that day he fainted in the middle of triage and was sent to the hospital. This hit home for me because he was fine the whole day. The next day, he came back to the clinic. When he saw me walk through the door he called me over and greeted me with open arms. He embraced me with a hug and told me he just needed someone to tell him that he was going to be okay. The hospital would not admit him without him doing lab test that would take days. This frustrates me, because he had already passed out 5 times in less than a week, and was having symptoms of a heart attack. I almost broke down in tears because we could not do anything to help him at the clinic with the materials that were available to us. I couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen when he left the clinic. Such a good man did not deserve to not have answers. Medicine sometimes fails us and that’s okay, but it’s something that we must realize. 

With this lingering in the back of my mind leaving the clinic on the last day was very emotional for me. I know that I would not be back in a week to check on his status. Facts like this make me never want to leave. Because of people like Juan and my team I have found my second home in Guatemala.

Lauryn Watson